I missed you. I want to start writing again to you, I want to tell you all my thoughts, my views, my worries to you once again. I want to thank you, for always being a silent listener to all my worries, being there when I was anxious. You know, being a Gemini soul, I either tell everything, share everything or nothing, there is nothing in between. I always choose to share nothing, with no one. I kept everything to myself and that’s when I started writing. This blog has a special place in my heart as I share all my worries here in form of words since 2014.
I took a pause, as there was fear of getting judged. I once again was back to my shell, dealing with the demons. It took me years to start writing again and that’s when I started writing to you. The time I started was in a competition and I write on various topics that mattered to me.
It was getting monotonous and I once again stopped, but all the while I missed you sunshine. I tried writing many times to you, but I was not able to. There were many fears, there are many fears now as well. My palms are still sweaty as I am writing this, but Sunshine, I want to go through this.
I know, no therapist can read my mind, they hear, they listen to all I want to say. I know, no matter how much I try to share with people whom I trust, I still won’t be able to share it all, tell everything.
Sunshine, I feel happy when I talk to you when I tell you all my assumptions when I get angry when I regret my words. I know no one could understand me, no one will, It’s a cruel world but I want to be happy here.
I know, there are things that I do might be wrong, there are things the might go wrong as well, with my words or actions, but sunshine, I own it all. Yesterday, someone told me, God has his own way, I truly agree, but we need to reach, to find that way. Today, I felt I have to find my way. I can’t let it all affect me, I just can’t.
I know I have many people whom I can speak to, but I can’t, I just can’t. I hope, you understand this Sunshine, I hope.
To tell you, I have tears in my eyes while writing this sunshine…