‘The gender of the mourner shouldn’t matter until the rituals are performed with love and respect.’

Review:

This book is much more than understanding the death rituals. An insightful read that gives us a perspective of people who work for the dead. People who work in crematoriums, pandits who only do death-related work, people who help organize the last rites and a lot more. Minakshi Dewan brilliantly weaves The Final Farewell, giving us a glimpse of the death tourism in Varanasi, the city walks that happen there, the importance of Nigambodh That, the challenges volunteers faced during the pandemic and how women volunteers performed the funerals.

While we witness how rituals are different in different religions, we see how things are changing and women are actively participating in the rituals while we see the challenges they face as they participate. With the interviews and insights from the people sharing their experiences, we get a whole new perspective on these rituals. While we see the progress with women priests and active participation, We also see the injustice faced by various communities and gender discrimination.

Interestingly structured, Minakshi keeps it light and candid for the readers making it easy to understand. It’s not only about rituals but various ways in which death is celebrated in different ways in different parts of the country. She weaves it beautifully with her captivating writing style giving readers an insightful experience. The narratives are encouraging making readers feel optimistic about the change happening around us.

It’s a thoughtful read that gives us a glimpse of various traditions and how we witnessed change, especially during the pandemic. We learn about Rudaalis, Mirasans and Oppari, how widows are portrayed in Bollywood (one of my favourite parts), the last rites of the Kinnar group, professional death services, and the funeral workers which we could never get to read somewhere else. She makes it comfortable for the readers to absorb the information. A book that gives us insights about death rituals and the people who help us.

It’s a book that teaches you various aspects of death, how people deal with it and the people to help us perform the rituals. A must-read.

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